15 vs 19

quite fun yday..quite smooth..took down the q-ing notes..cos me and salinah will be rosli's q-ers..yup yup..but yday quite pissed with a ite indian girl..talk to her nicely but she give me attitude..still say i look like 15! omgosh..i cant believe that..i'm gg to blacklist her..and not gg to be nice to her anymore..best if dont talk to her at all..communicate thru her grp members better..

yup..after dhs went jp to meet seeyeo for dinner at the kopitiam..den yc and his friend esther came to watch us eat..haha..kinda surprised that he came and look for us..but kinda expected cos he called me earlier to ask where am i..so yup..but still..happy to see him lah.. :):):)

finished my whole plate of rice..although it is not really very nice..haha..yup..and bought crepe at the new shop outside nokia shop..it looks nice..but can be deceiving..luckily we only bought one to share..yup yup..

shopped ard to look for sy friend's bday present..but ended up buying our own things instead..haha..i bought a pair of black jeans and sy bought a tube top (very nice..can wear in 6ways!) at red2..yup..like that..a trip costed me more than $50bucks! hmm..gotta save and be thrifty for the next few months le.. =P

oh ya..saw mavis on the bus when i'm heading home..haha..long time no see sia.. :) agreed to meet today for dinner and catch some updates about ourselves..hope today's date will be on! looking forward to meet mavis~ :)

yup..reached home quite late..den showered and go to bed..stupid greenie called and dont let me slp..so BAD! talked awhile and hanged the phone..cos i really very tired to talk in the room when my family is slping and i'm charging my hp..you know, like cannot talk properly?..difficult for both the speaker and listener? yup yup..so next time must be wise to call when i'm free and easy to talk okay? pig! =P

and i'm really irritated by my dad..keep calling but didnt speak up..and when he speaks, he keep asking for the death certs of my grandparents..like as if i got so much time..haiz..IRRITATED! and there is this private number called me a few times but also didnt speak up..i mean if my dad called, i still can understand cos is hp..accidentally pressed..BUT private number? abit difficult to believe is coincident right? dunno who the hell so free to irritate me..haiz..my stalker ar?

last chance and last chance and last chance..

i can give myself reasons to forgive..
because i'm not a good gf..because i cant give you what you want..i cant be the 24hrs gf whom you can show off to your world of friends..i cant be as guai as you want me to..i just forget things so easily..i'm just too stupid when i'm with you..always do things to piss you off..doesnt do the right things at the right time..doesnt say the right things at the right time..you wouldnt want a gf like me..cos i'm not as pretty or cute or fanciful or clever or attractive or fashionable or whatever it is..

but i just cant find any reason why i must trust this relationship again..this is the 5th time we broke up..so we've patched 4 times before..okay..i must admit i'm at wrong sometimes..and we've gone thru alot of ups and downs..each time hoping that this will be the final time and the downs are supposed to strenghten our relationship..but too many downs really depressed me..and i wonder how many more do we have to encounter if we're back together again?..you said i always asked stupid questions..but i ask because i dont know..not because i wanna irritate or piss you off..it really hurts whenever i'm being scolded by you..it sinks into my heart..the worst part is you keep scolding despite the tears flowing out from me..i cant find and i dont believe that any guy who will do this to a girl he really love and treasure..you know, i cant find the love you have in me..or at least, i cant feel it..i can only felt impatience and irrittatedness..perhaps 15 mths is too long for you in a relationship..i bored you..go find someone better, someone whom you really care..

and yah..we both cant get things right..share different views..since we cant be happy with each other..den why bother to try it out again? you can gain your freedom, and i can gain mine..fair and square..go out with whoever you like..no need to keep me informed..do whatever you want..i'm not gg to ask..and i'm not gg to care anymore..i dont want you to change for me anymore..

yup..cleared my emotions and get charged..

shall go continue working..goodbye..